Monday, November 02, 2009
I have lived a life with a great sense of self-importance. I don’t know if I am proud of it or ashamed, but this is who I am so I live with it gracefully. Last November I got married.
After my marriage the time came with lots of adjustment difficulties. So many things changed in life. Though I consider myself extremely lucky as my husband is also my best friend and he helped a lot to go through most of them. He tolerated my tantrums and I tolerated his, but we survived the rocky phase.
But what I lost in the process of this adjustment and survival game is this:
1. I lost my zeal for life, creativity and no-reward activities.
2. I put on a good deal (10 kg) weight and lost my “I am very attractive” feeling.
Now, I am a person who likes to be in control of my weight, to me it symbolizes how much I am in control of my life. I know that it’s very subjective feeling and I don’t intent to say that the people who don’t control their weight cannot control their lives. But for me, this psychological association is strong.
The realization came in a funny manner. I didn’t put on weight overnight. It was an ongoing process which was the result of my inactivity and inappropriate diet for over a year. But when I walked on the weight machine that day and read that figure 73.50 kg. I felt pathetic. I had not gained so much weight ever since I lost real good amount of weight after my class 12th. My maximum weight after that had been 60 kg and here I was with 13 kg more weight.
I started going to gym (sorry to mention that I don’t go very regularly). But soon I understood it loud and clear that gym alone will not make any difference. There is something really wrong with the way I eat.
Not that I had this realization yesterday, but still today is my first day when I am writing all this in the form of my journal.
I have a clearly defined goal.
I want to reduce 16 kg weight by 31st May, 2010.
And I really want to keep a record of how I started and where I reached. So I am writing this. I will keep writing the entries because I like to keep a track of the path. As-
1. I might have to walk it once again.
2. Someone else might want to walk the same path and may find my journey interesting.
I have lived a life with a great sense of self-importance. I don’t know if I am proud of it or ashamed, but this is who I am so I live with it gracefully. Last November I got married.
After my marriage the time came with lots of adjustment difficulties. So many things changed in life. Though I consider myself extremely lucky as my husband is also my best friend and he helped a lot to go through most of them. He tolerated my tantrums and I tolerated his, but we survived the rocky phase.
But what I lost in the process of this adjustment and survival game is this:
1. I lost my zeal for life, creativity and no-reward activities.
2. I put on a good deal (10 kg) weight and lost my “I am very attractive” feeling.
Now, I am a person who likes to be in control of my weight, to me it symbolizes how much I am in control of my life. I know that it’s very subjective feeling and I don’t intent to say that the people who don’t control their weight cannot control their lives. But for me, this psychological association is strong.
The realization came in a funny manner. I didn’t put on weight overnight. It was an ongoing process which was the result of my inactivity and inappropriate diet for over a year. But when I walked on the weight machine that day and read that figure 73.50 kg. I felt pathetic. I had not gained so much weight ever since I lost real good amount of weight after my class 12th. My maximum weight after that had been 60 kg and here I was with 13 kg more weight.
I started going to gym (sorry to mention that I don’t go very regularly). But soon I understood it loud and clear that gym alone will not make any difference. There is something really wrong with the way I eat.
Not that I had this realization yesterday, but still today is my first day when I am writing all this in the form of my journal.
I have a clearly defined goal.
I want to reduce 16 kg weight by 31st May, 2010.
And I really want to keep a record of how I started and where I reached. So I am writing this. I will keep writing the entries because I like to keep a track of the path. As-
1. I might have to walk it once again.
2. Someone else might want to walk the same path and may find my journey interesting.
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